At times our adult children make life choices that cause us to scratch our head and say, “Really?!”. How we respond to these scenarios will be crucial in maintaining positive relationships. It is important to remember our position in their lives at this point.
Once our children are on their own, navigating the playing field of life, our position as a parent changes. We are no longer in the coach or quarterback position, but should move into a cheerleader or trainer position. We should no longer call the shots or direct the plays in their life. A cheerleader stands to the sideline and encourages – whether the players are winning or losing. A trainer is there with a cool drink and bandages to help when needed.
Be available for consultation when asked. Did you catch that – when asked! If your adult child asks for input, be ready with a positive response that will make them think without appearing controlling or judgmental:
Have you thought about…?
One thing to consider…
How will you handle…?
As opposed to:
Are you crazy?!
That will never work.
What are you thinking?!
If you struggle with worrying about the outcome, a good phrase to ponder is, “What’s the worst that can happen?” We have lived on this earth longer and probably know what is best for our children at any age. Once they are adults it is an art to watch a possible disaster scenario and be who they need for the particular time and chapter. Pray for wisdom!
James 1:5 Amplified Bible
5 If any of you lacks wisdom [to guide him through a decision or circumstance], he is to ask of [our benevolent] God, who gives to everyone generously and without rebuke or blame, and it will be given to him.